Navigating parenting and finances
Personal finance writer and expert, Alyssa Davies talks about how parenting has shaped her financial perspective.
By ATB Financial 19 November 2024 3 min read
I became a parent for the first time in 2018 and welcomed my second child in 2021. Since then, parenting has been an incredible and challenging journey, shaping my life and financial perspectives. Although my finances weren’t fully prepared to start a family when I was 28 years old, I had just completed a significant financial milestone—paying off all my consumer debt. My focus quickly shifted toward larger financial goals, and I knew my approach to money had to evolve with these changes.
By 2021, I felt much more confident about handling the financial responsibilities of an expanding family. However, nothing can fully prepare you for the financial surprises of raising children. With each passing year, parenting feels like a brand-new adventure with first-time experiences and ever-changing costs. It’s taught me that financial preparation is a continuous journey involving consistent savings and planning.
How Do You Balance Saving for Your Children’s Education with Other Financial Goals?
Balancing my financial priorities has involved focusing on my long-term stability, knowing that putting my “oxygen mask on first” will ultimately benefit my kids. Here’s my approach:
- Prioritize Your Financial Needs First: Saving for my retirement is one of the best gifts I can give my children. It ensures that I won’t be financially dependent on them later, allowing them more freedom with their own finances.
- Remove the Guilt: Parents often feel pressured to put their children’s financial needs first, but it’s not selfish to prioritize your financial well-being.
- Finding Balance: Saving for my kids’ education is essential, but I recognize that financial health is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s okay to take breaks or adjust based on what’s realistic in any given season.
Supporting your children financially doesn't mean neglecting your own needs. Setting a solid foundation for yourself can be one of the greatest gifts for your family’s future.
How Do You Want Your Children to Feel When They Talk About Money in the Future?
I hope that my children will feel a sense of joy and peace when it comes to money. Here’s how I’m working toward that:
- Beyond Knowledge: Financial literacy is crucial but only part of the equation. I want my children to feel good about how they save, spend, and experience financial security.
- The Emotional Side of Money: Teaching my children the importance of understanding their emotional relationship with money will help them find balance so they don’t feel stress or guilt as they grow.
Financial confidence isn’t just about knowing the numbers — it’s about fostering a healthy, positive relationship with money.
How Do You Involve Your Children in Conversations About Finances?
Money talk is a natural part of our family life, and I aim to make it a positive, worry-free experience:
- Use Positive Language: Instead of saying, “We can’t afford this,” I might say, “I love this idea. Let’s talk about how we can save up for it.” This way, conversations stay constructive and hopeful.
- Start Early: When my kids turn five, I introduce them to an allowance, letting them explore and make mistakes with their own money. This hands-on approach will help them learn from real-life experiences.
Creating a safe space for kids to discuss money without fear helps build their confidence and allows them to view finances as manageable and positive.
How Do You Balance the Present and the Future When It Comes to Money and Saving?
I focus on both short- and long-term goals, aiming for a balanced approach that serves my family today and in the future:
- Long-Term Planning: I keep a spreadsheet for more extensive future goals, such as family vacations and gifts I want to give my children as they grow. This helps me stay organized and forward-thinking.
- Sinking Funds for Present Needs: I set up sinking funds for immediate goals, like holiday gifts or summer camps. Starting early, I gradually save each month so these costs don’t disrupt our budget later.
Planning for both the present and the future helps manage the ebb and flow of financial needs, making it easier to stay prepared and enjoy the moment.
Parenting and finances are deeply intertwined, bringing unique challenges and rewards. My journey has taught me that financial preparedness is a dynamic, ongoing process that requires careful planning and flexibility. I hope these insights inspire other parents to approach their financial journey with compassion, understanding, and some planning.
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