The other day on a coffee catch-up, my friend and I were talking about budgeting for an upcoming trip she had planned (a responsible queen👸). The conversation shifted to managing money overall and she asked me how I was approaching budgeting, saving and investing. 

My gut reaction: The idea that being financially responsible means cutting out every little joy feels outdated to me. I don't think a good financial plan should make you miserable.

I strongly stand by the principle: If coffee, fashion, travel or going out with friends are important to you, I think there's value in learning how to make room for those things rather than eliminating them completely.

This conversation got me thinking, as a woman, how can you plan for the future but allow yourself to enjoy today. I went home that night and journaled my 5 rules to become that girl when it comes to money. 

1. Know Where Your Money Is Going

Get really familiar with your spending habits. Know what comes in, what goes out, what you're saving for and what matters most to you. I find this is the easiest place to start.

If you're feeling overwhelmed about where to begin or feel you aren't making enough yet:

1. Don't compare yourself to anyone else's journey (literally every person I know is starting from a different place, a different amount of debt (or none at all), different financial backgrounds, etc.)
2. Start smaller than you think you need to (even saving $25 or $50 consistently is still building the habit)
3. Make saving automatic if you can (even a small automatic transfer can make saving feel less like a decision you have to make every payday)"

2. Spend on Things That Genuinely Bring You Joy

I especially think about this in the context of growing up in a South Asian household. I watched my parents and family friends work incredibly hard to provide for their families while also being extremely frugal and putting their own wants on the back burner. When my brother and I eventually left the nest, we actually encouraged my dad to make sure he and my mom were enjoying their lives too, like taking trips, treating themselves, and making room for fun experiences every now and then.

Because at the end of the day, if you're working so hard to build a life you enjoy, I don't think the goal should be to postpone enjoying it indefinitely. Being financially responsible can mean planning for your future while still giving yourself permission to enjoy the present.

When it comes to making smart fashion investments without guilt, I’d 1000% recommend the Wardrobe ROI calculator (in the It Girl’s guide), especially if you love clothes and shopping. It is so helpful in putting into perspective the actual cost per wear you’re getting out of each piece and can help make a decision when choosing between purchasing an investment piece, like a $500 timeless wool coat, or a $60 trendy wool coat you may only wear this season.

3. Know the Difference Between Wanting Something and Being Able to Afford It

Finding harmony between enjoying the present and saving for the future comes down to intentional balance rather than total sacrifice.

I’m the friend that will always tell you to book the trip if you’re contemplating saving money or gaining a new experience. I think the biggest thing is remembering that saving for the future shouldn't come at the expense of actually living your life now. I like having goals I'm working toward, but I also intentionally leave room in my budget for the things that make my life feel fun to me like travel, fashion, workout classes, going out with friends or experiences. 

4. Don't Be Embarrassed to Talk About Money

A more general trend I'm seeing is the rise of financial literacy as a whole. I'm loving the rise of creators whose niche is finance because money used to feel like something you weren't supposed to talk about. Now people are openly discussing budgeting, investing, saving, debt and financial goals in ways that feel much more approachable."

I think women deserve financial resources that acknowledge the realities of our lives rather than simply giving us generic financial advice. Especially because our relationship with money can be influenced by things like career paths, caregiving, relationships, societal expectations and the pressure to look a certain way or maintain a certain lifestyle (let’s not forget how expensive things like manicures, hair maintenance, outfits, and workout classes cost!)... I think it’s especially important for women in my generation to feel empowered to educate themselves about money and take an active role in their financial lives.

5. Don't Let One "Bad" Spending Decision Derail Your Whole Plan

Perspective is everything. Your financial journey is a lifelong path, and enjoying the fruits of your labor along the way is the ultimate goal.

While being a financial It Girl can’t easily be summed up into 5 points, I hope this article provides you with a safe place to start the conversation, with yourself or loved one! Reading ATB’s It Girl Guide to Financial Wellness sparked my reflection– download a copy for yourself!